Readings for Lent 4C
March 25, 2001
The Rev. Karen Siegfriedt
St. Jude the Apostle Church, Cupertino CA,
Forgiveness is not about the past. It is about the possibility of a new future. If we were artists, we would need to paint at least two pictures to depict the human condition. Our first painting would be that of a person created in the image of God, endowed with certain gifts, and blessed with the capacity to enjoy and participate in the fullness of life. In this picture, love, joy, and the centrality of righteous relationships would emerge. The second painting would portray humanity as being wounded and frightened. In this picture, the emotions of fear, hurt, anger, revenge, and broken relationships would emerge. If we were to ignore either portrayal of the human condition, then we would not be honest.
Several years ago, an older man came into my office to talk about his past. He told me horrific stories about the abuse he had endured as a boy. Year after year he was abused, both physically and emotionally. Later as the conversation continued, I interjected something about the sinfulness of the human condition. He turned to me and said that he did not believe in sin. I then asked him: "Then what do you call the abuse that you endured all those years as an innocent child?"
Today I would like to talk about that aspect of our human nature which causes us to operate from a place of fear, hurt, and woundedness; that part of us that chooses the wrong over the good; that part of our nature which brings harm to relationships rather than love. I want to talk about human sin, another word for alienation. Sin is a word that has lost favor among the populace. As part of my preaching series on the Sunday Liturgy in the Episcopal Church, I will focus my comments on the Sacrament of Reconciliation which is the Christian response to broken relationships. These broken relationships include ourselves, other people, God, and those creatures with whom we share this planet earth.
When we speak about the sinfulness of human nature, there are two basic ways of understanding. The first way is the Catholic understanding which sees humanity as basically good although spotted. An image that describes this theological outlook would be "white snow covered with soot." A more Protestant understanding of human nature would be a humanity who is totally fallen. And it is only by the grace of God that we can be saved. An image that describes this theological outlook would be "dirt, covered with an occasional snow fall." Anglicans can embrace either of these theological perspectives, although I see truth in both of them. I think that we are basically good, created in the image of God. On the other hand, I absolutely believe we need the grace of God (that unconditional love) operating in our lives to move us into a new future, a new creation- a right order of relationships where alienation gives way to compassion. The Sacrament of Reconciliation (also known as confession) is a good beginning.
If you turn to your Book of Common Prayer (BCP) to page 359, you will see listed an order for Confession of Sin. The Confession may also be said during Morning Prayer, Evening Prayer, and Compline. The Church so much longs for us to heal broken relationships, that it gives us many opportunities through confession, to put on the mind of Christ. Although the confession could be said at the beginning of the service, it typically follows soon after the sermon. The reason for the placement is this. After hearing the readings from the Bible and words from the preacher, it is hoped that we might be moved to want to adopt God's viewpoint of relationships rather than our own distorted perspective. This is William Temple's definition of repentance: "To adopt God's viewpoint in place of our own." And of course, God's viewpoint is one of mercy, forgiveness, and love.
On page 360, the common recitation of remorse is said. Notice that the Prayer of Confession is broad in scope: "...we have sinned against you in thought, word, and deed, by what we have done, and by what we have left undone. We have not loved you with our whole heart." Since there is little time for serious self-reflection during the silence, I suggest spending some time each night before you go to bed. Think about your day and how you might have been more loving in your thoughts and actions with others. From time to time, engage in a serious process of self-reflection, such as on Ash Wednesday, Good Friday, or at times when you know that your life is out of control or filled with hurt and anger. If you find yourself repeating behaviors that hurt yourself or others, if you do not feel forgiven for your transgressions, or if you feel revengeful and are having difficulty forgiving those who have hurt you, then perhaps you need to make an appointment to speak with a priest or a health professional.
On p. 447 of the BCP is the Sacrament of Reconciliation. Another name for this is "auricular confession"; a time in which you discuss, with a priest, your desire to take on God's viewpoint, followed by the assurance of absolution. The rule about auricular confessions is this: "All may, none must, some should." To prepare for the Sacrament of Reconciliation, I always suggest that people start with a reflection on the litany of Penance found in the prayer book for Ash Wednesday.
Reconciliation is a four-part process. 1) It begins with a period of self-examination. Examine your emotions, your actions, your outlook on life. Who needs forgiveness? Do you need to forgive yourself for self-deprecation, for harming your body, or for making life-style decisions that sap your joy and degrade the quality of your life and mental health? Do you need to forgive yourself and make amends with others for bringing harm to a relationship rather than love? Do you need to forgive others for the harm they have done to you? Remember forgiveness is about putting on the mind of Christ. It is not about denial or self-flagellation.
2) After the self-examination is complete, think about the harm your actions or lack of actions have caused. Then determine if you are remorseful. I remember as a child having to go to confession about once per month during which I confessed a litany of sins for which I was not really sorry. One day when I was in high school, I told my math teacher about a derogatory comment my physics teacher had said about her alma mater. Why I did that, I do not know. But what I do know is this. My math teacher was deeply hurt and this comment caused a rift in their relationship. I was deeply sorry and I knew I had sinned because I had brought harm to a relationship rather than love. This is what remorse is all about. It keeps us from repeating harmful behavior.
3) After we have examined our feelings about our alienation and broken relationships, we need to make a decision. Do we want to say "yes" to the possibility of a new future where we will adopt God's viewpoint in place of our own? If so, a confession or an articulation of our desire to move from alienation to love, is in order.
4) The final step is repentance, when we fully embrace that decision to adopt God's viewpoint. Repentance is not about making nice. It is a change of mind; a mind in which God's thoughts become our thoughts.
I would like for all of us to practice what I just preached so I want to take you through a guided meditation of forgiveness. The Confession of Sin will immediately follow this meditation. Sit comfortably with your eyes closed.
1. I want you to think about someone you have hurt, someone who is still on your mind. It might have been a small transgression or it may have caused great harm. Imagine the person standing before you, a child of God. Acknowledge your responsibility for causing hurt instead of love.Think about how you might heal that relationship and how you might relate honestly and respectfully. Sometimes the return of the wrongdoer is merely painful to the victim and only compounds the harm. It is no good barging in on other people's lives to satisfy your own need for closure.Still, if it can be done in a humble, tactful, and undemanding way, there is often room to reach out to those we have wronged and to offer a process of renewal.
Remember that God is a God of mercy. Accept God's merciful viewpoint and let go of useless guilt. Self-forgiveness does not take the place of being forgiven by those we have wronged. It won't magically heal the brokenness of the relationship we have damaged. But it still has a role to play. Its role is to move us from the past and prepare us for a new future. Now place yourself in the light of God's forgiveness.
2. Next, I want you to think about someone who has hurt you. Someone who has not made reparations and whose transgression continues to cause you pain. Perhaps it is a parent, a troubled child, an ex-spouse. Think about the injustices that you endured. Now ask yourself, "Do I want to be primarily shaped by the harm someone else has done to me?. Do I want to be shackled by the emotions of fear, hurt, and anger for the rest of my life?. Do I want these past emotions to shape my life rather than the blessings and opportunities I have received?.If the answer is "NO", then you have opened the door to a new future. Remember, we forgive others for the sake of our own well being.
Christian forgiveness does not require you nor allow you to look on injustice or any other fault with indifference, as if it were nothing. Admit your poisonous thoughts and don't deny them.You worship a God of truth, not a "Pollyanna" god so be honest about the pain and about the relationship that might have been.Now ask God for help in letting go of the hurt.Spend a moment to reflect on the universality of God's forgiveness. Reflect on God's forgiveness of you. Pray for the one who has wronged you and release them into God's care.Now pray for God to lead you into a new future. Forgive as you have been forgiven. Freedom from the past is awaiting you.
Please open your eyes. Let us now kneel in silence and with penitent and obedient hearts, confess our sins, that we may obtain forgiveness by God's infinite goodness and mercy..
| Updated 3/25/01 |
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