Reading: Luke 14:25-33 Proper
18C
September 9, 2001
The Rev. Karen Siegfriedt
St. Jude the Apostle Church, Cupertino, CA
There is an unspoken contract in most Episcopal churches. The contract is, that the vast majority of people in a particular parish do not want themselves or their world to be transformed by the gospel. Instead, they want their minister to help them make life easier to manage while they and their world stay the same in every important respect. Most people are deeply committed to family, career, and a standard of living. These values of family, career, and a standard of living are held onto so tightly, that most people will not embrace other ways of thinking, even gospel imperatives, if it means that they would have to reprioritize their values.
But the gospel says that we and the "world orders" in which we live must be changed in order to enjoy the blessings of the created order. The gospel says that the life of discipleship can only be maintained so long as nothing is allowed to come between Christ and ourselves. This includes family, career, and a standard of living. So let's take a look at today's gospel which contains one of the most difficult passages in the Bible. Let's see if we can make sense of what the gospel demands of us and how that might change our lives and our priorities in relationships.
Jesus said: "Whoever comes to me and does not hate father and mother, wife and children, brothers and sisters, yes, and even life itself, cannot be my disciple."(Lk. 14) This gospel imperative is shocking and runs counter to the received wisdom of almost every human culture. Jesus seems to be setting himself against God's commandment to "Honor one's father and mother." In add ition, he seems to be contradicting himself because elsewhere, he firmly denounces divorce. Is Jesus calling us to abandon our family and join a monastery? Let's take a closer look.
The word for hate used in the Greek text is miseo. In this text, the word does not mean to be angry with or have hostility against another person. Instead, miseo means to be detached from. For our Buddhist brothers and sisters, this verse would make perfect sense. For them, the path away from suffering and towards enlightenment requires that a practicing Buddhist detach his or herself from all worldly goods, outcomes, and yes, even relationships. And while Christianity is much different from Buddhism, there are some similarities when it comes to detachment from worldly pursuits. For Jesus, God demands ultimate commitment and if this commitment clashes with any other allegiance (no matter how important), then that other allegiance must give way.
In 1st century Palestine, how people perceived themselves, how they related to each other, how they set priorities, and how they made decisions, was much different than the way middle-class Americans function. The personal, individualistic, self-centered focus typical of contemporary American experience was simply not of concern to 1st century Mediterraneans. In order to function in their society, people embraced a group consciousness. They did not make decisions based on what was best for the individual, but rather, what was best for the family and the extended family as a whole. People were not known individually but in terms of their family, their place of origin, their inherited craft or trade, and the group they belonged to. This determined their worth in society. For instance, Jesus was known as "the son of Mary and Joseph; the son of a carpenter from Nazareth." Since the town of Nazareth was looked down upon, those who came from that town were not held in high esteem. Remember how people doubted Jesus' wisdom because he came from that town of Nazareth and was only the son of some poor carpenter!
This kind of group mentality is known as the dyadic personality. Usually in a dyadic culture, the head of the household (i.e. father) made all of the important decisions. What a person would do for a living, whom they would marry, what religion they would practice, how they would enact business, was determined either by the father of the clan or in conversation with the group. So tight were family bonds in 1st C Palestine, that there was no going off and "finding oneself" or making an individual decision to become a disciple of Jesus.
It is within this culture of dyadic relationships that Jesus tells 'would-be' followers, the cost of discipleship. If they want to be disciples, they would have to detach themselves from any family ties that would prevent them from a full commitment to follow God as revealed by Jesus. So what relevance does this gospel have for us today; we Americans who are very individualistic and call our own shots?
1. Today's gospel does not call us to abandon family responsibilities. It calls us to place God at the center of our relationships. In her book, Women Who Love Too Much, Robin Norwood advises those who tend to be attracted to emotionally unavailable or abusive men to detach themselves from these destructive relationships and to seek a path of healing and wholeness. In her book, Codependent No More, Melody Beattie offers hope and guidance on how to detach from unhealthy entanglements with another person's life and responsibilities. Neither of these authors is advocating a shirking of our true responsibilities to ourselves or others. They are not telling people to evade their responsibilities to love, to nurture, and to care within the family. But they are advising those who are in dysfunctional relationships to say "NO" to dysfunctional behavior and to do what is necessary to lead a healthy life.
Now when it comes to relationships, Jesus goes one step further than Norwood or Beattie. He is saying that once we have voluntarily committed ourselves to God in Christ (e.g. baptism), God becomes our most important relationship in life; more important than our marriage commitment, our commitment to our family of origin, our commitment to our children. This means that God has supreme claim on our lives and that we need to examine and reorder our commitments and relationships to ensure that God's 'will' comes first. Christians believe that through Christ, all things were made and have their being. If this is so, then it is through Christ that we receive all of our blessings from God. If Christ is not our primary relationship, our mediator, than those things we receive outside of this primary relationship, probably comes to us through our own ego -driven cravings. Remember those times when we have forced a relationship or a job position to happen only to find out later that they weren't the best for us? "Seek first the Kingdom of God and its righteousness and all these things will be given to you as well."
2. There is a cost to discipleship. Following Jesus requires a life of voluntary sacrifice and a giving up of middle-class values that contradict the gospel message. It is a life of detaching oneself from cravings, desires, and worldly things. Before choosing baptism (i.e. total commitment to Christ), I always counsel people and parents on the cost of committing oneself to Christ. There is a heavy price to pay but the rewards are great. These rewards include a Peace which passes all understanding, a knowledge that one is striving for justice and is committed to making this world a better place, and the gift of being able to truly enjoy creation as a transformed person.
3. Finally, today's gospel demands our 100% allegiance to Christ. No person can serve two masters and do it well. Being a nice person is not the same as being a disciple of Christ. Here at St. Jude's, we are committed to embracing all those who come through our doors. "Whoever you are, wherever you are, you are welcome here!" But this welcoming posture does not excuse us from the task of striving to become more faithful discipleship. On November 4th (All Saints Day), we will renew our baptismal vows along with those who will be baptized. Before that day, I would like all of us in this community to think about the cost of discipleship and pray for the grace to truly recommit ourselves to God in Christ. What will discipleship cost you?
| Updated 9/10/01 |
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